Liz Hilliard, 69, left, on a roof with her fiancée Lee Kennelly, 44. Courtesy of Liz Hilliard.
- Liz Hilliard was married to a man for 37 years. She said their relationship had “ups and downs.”
- She said it never occurred to her that she was gay.
- She fell in love with her best friend, who is 26 years younger than her and three years older than her daughter.
This essay is based on a conversation with Liz Hilliard. It has been edited for length and clarity.
People often say that I look good for my age. I’ll be 70 in January.
It has a lot to do with owning a gym. I stay in shape. But it is mainly due to the fact that at the age of 64 I have found the freedom to accept my truth.
I am the happiest I have ever been in my life after finding love with a woman after 37 years of marriage to a man. I never thought I was gay. But in 2018 I was woken up when I fell in love with my best friend Lee, now 44.
Lee is 26 years younger than me and only three years older than my daughter. But the age difference doesn’t matter. She is the right person for me.
I married my husband in 1980, eight months after we met. He was beautiful – tall, handsome and smart. We had similar passions in life, but that also led to a very rocky marriage. Either we were madly in love or we wanted to kill each other.
My self-help book was about admitting who you are – but that wasn’t the case for me
We had our ups and downs, but we were loyal. He taught me positive things about love and respect. However, we separated in April 2018. It had been a long time coming.
It happened a year after I finished a self-help book. It was about becoming powerful by admitting who you were and having the courage to live your life the way you wanted, at any age.
Hilliard and Kennelly plan to get married in 2024. Courtesy of Liz Hilliard
However, when it came to my personal circumstances, the words were hollow. I couldn’t put my finger on why, but I knew that I had to stop whatever I was doing that felt wrong or I would feel wrong for the rest of my life. “I won’t be married to this man anymore,” I thought.
It never occurred to me that I wasn’t heterosexual. It was the last thing I expected; I had never had romantic feelings for another woman in my life.
I met Lee in 2012 when she joined my company. A deep friendship developed between us. I could tell her anything. I was also very close to my daughter, and so was Lee. They are about the same age and the three of us have always been together. We often went out to eat and to the cinema. We considered each other best friends despite our age difference.
I was Lee’s boss and she was 26 years younger than me
Not long after my breakup, something incredible happened. Lee came into my office when I was having a bad day. She threw her arms around me. She is a big hugger and had done it thousands of times before.
“I have your back,” she said. Suddenly I felt as if an electric shock had gone through my body. It was absolutely physical. I ended up pushing Lee away because it was so intense and confusing.
“Not only am I her boss, she’s also 26 years younger than me,” I thought afterwards. “On paper, there’s everything wrong with this thing.”
Kennelly (left) and Hilliard have been together since 2018. Courtesy of Liz Hilliard
But I texted her that evening. “Would you like to have dinner with me?” I asked. She wrote back immediately. We went out to dinner about three times a week – usually with my daughter – but we both knew next time would be different.
I felt like a teenager on the date. It wasn’t just sexual. I fell in love with my best friend. I was deeply shocked that I felt this way. Lee, who had recently separated from her own husband, was also overwhelmed. She said she had never had such feelings for a woman either.
Step out of your comfort zone and you will become fearless
At first I wanted to keep the relationship secret. We both had to deal with it. But you can’t fake love. People would call us and say, “You look like you’re having an affair.” Well, they were right.
We live in North Carolina, where many people are religious and conservative. We lost some friends who had a hard time coming to terms with our sexuality and our age difference.
But when you step out of your comfort zone and do something wrong in the eyes of society, you become fearless. Not much scares me anymore. My friendships became deeper with people who accepted our new situation.
Hilliard, left, celebrates her fiancée Kennelly with her. Courtesy of Liz Hilliard
My daughter had problems at first. It was hard for her and hard for me to explain it to her. I couldn’t really explain it. But I knew I wanted to be with Lee forever. My daughter, who has two children, underwent a lot of therapy to help her cope with the new situation. We both did that. There was some heartache along the way, but our mother-daughter bond has blossomed into something great. She loves Lee just as much as before.
We got engaged last month
I’m finally living an authentic life. Lee is a beautiful woman. Our relationship is very physical – constantly erotic and orgasmic – and very spiritual. I look and feel my best when I’m with her.
We now host a podcast called Be Powerful with Liz & Lee where we talk about all types of relationships. We want women to feel strong no matter their age.
As for the future, we got engaged last month. We are planning our wedding for early next year. Maybe it will even take place on my 70th birthday. I can’t wait to reach this milestone with Lee by my side.
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