Wynonna Judd spoke for the first time since the heartbreaking contents of her mother’s suicide note were revealed.
The 58-year-old country singer has been touring since her mother Naomi’s suicide in April. Wyonna was originally scheduled to perform on the tour with her mother, but chose not to cancel the shows, saying the experience of performing was an “incredible healing opportunity.”
Wynonna told The Hollywood Reporter that her mother was “very excited” about the tour, but that they only started the wardrobe customization before Naomi’s death and didn’t have time to rehearse.
Her comments come as the Williamson County Sheriff’s Department released photos from the scene of Naomi’s suicide, which included a note from the late singer apparently requesting that Wynonna not be allowed to visit her burial and called her “mentally ill”.
Wynonna (left) and Naomi Judd in Nasvhille in April 2022, just before Naomi committed suicide
Wynonna Judd sings in May after the death of her mother Naomi
Wynonna, who recently confirmed she would be performing a second leg of The Judds: The Final Tour, said she didn’t expect the shows to be as emotional as they were.
“It’s a whole different depth and I wasn’t expecting it,” she said. “I knew it was going to be intense, but it’s literally ‘Oh my Lord.’ This is me with a broken heart that is open in a way I probably never will be and other people are reacting to it in ways I didn’t expect.”
She added that the intensity of the experience was partly due to compassion for fans who had endured similar tragedies.
“I’ve had people literally come up to me and say, ‘My mom committed suicide and I’m here and I feel every word you say.’ She said, “It’s very deep and personal. They either lost their mother or something happened in their family, and this is almost a 12-step meeting. This isn’t just show business. It’s helping a lot of people.”
Naomi and Wynonna Judd sing on stage in St. Louis in 2010
Naomi and Wynonna Judd at the 14th Annual American Music Awards in Los Angeles
Wynonna said she initially thought the shows would be more of a memorial to her mother and was surprised to hear her fans singing along and paying tribute to her mother through the joy of a concert.
“I realized these people sing every word, and I mean it. It was so loud sometimes. I didn’t sing. And I would just step back from the mic. I would literally take a step back and say, “Whoa.” She said.
“And then I had the fans sing and they sang so loud and they sang every stinky word. And it blew my mind. It just brought me to another plane of existence. I felt hung up on the stage. I really did. I felt like I was floating off the stage many nights. I came off the stage and said, “I don’t know what just happened, but it was otherworldly.”
She described the experience — pointing out the cell phone lights people were waving instead of lighters — as “light therapy.”
“I’m glad I showed up – because it changed my life. It changed my life forever,” she said.
Wynonna Judd performing in November 2022
Wynonna Judd on stage in November 2022
Wynonna said that although she and her mother didn’t have time to rehearse the show, Naomi was thrilled to be touring again.
“She was very excited, probably to the point where I had to be like, ‘Mom, hey, I want to talk to you about something else.’ Because that’s all she really talked about.”
In addition to trying on clothes in preparation for the tour, Wynonna said she and her mother discussed set lists, which she found to be a humorous experience.
“There were times I wanted to sing a song that had the word ‘sex’ in it, I was funny, and she looked at me like, ‘Well.’ You know what moms are like?’
“And there were moments when I looked at her and said, ‘You’re the queen of everything. I called her that. And she definitely thought there were times when she was right and I had to conform to her way of thinking.’
Wynonna said that although she and her mother didn’t have time to rehearse the show, Naomi was thrilled to be touring again
The mother-daughter duo were known for having a rocky relationship at times. Wynonna said there were some challenges between them preparing for the tour, but that she’d learned to deal with them and just be happy with who her mother was.
“I don’t know about you and your mom, but ordering something off the menu yourself is a challenge,” she said.
“Because she’s so squeamish and I just look at her as this diva queen and she’s sitting there with her hair done perfectly and I’m looking at her like, ‘Mom, someone messes up and pulls off this wig and runs off with it.’
“I think sometimes there were moments where I literally had to say, ‘Okay, this is your mom, and you can be right or you can be loved.’ So I’m going to agree with her and I’m just going to let that go.”
Naomi and Wynonna Judd performing in 1988
Naomi and Wynonna Judd in 2011
Wynonna also spoke about how her mother’s death had brought her closer to her sister Ashey, with whom she also had a contentious relationship in the past.
She said it was “a hundred billion, trillion, billion percent accurate” the sisters were brought together by death, and recounted how they lived together on the same property.
“Ashley and I are more connected than ever. We get together and talk about things we’ve never talked about before. And I find that even though we’re largely geographically separated, we have more in common than ever.’
“We’ve been separated since she was actually 14 and I was 18 and on the road. So you can imagine how much time we spent apart. And now here we are, coming over to each other’s houses and talking about mom and stories and when we were little and it makes me love her and feel closer to her.
Naomi’s suicide included a note apparently demanding that Wynonna not be allowed to attend her funeral and labeling her “mentally ill”.
Naomi and Wynonna Judd at the 20th Annual Academy of Country Music Awards
She also said her fondest memories of her mother are when they hosted high-profile events together and Naomi lost herself in her enthusiasm for the day.
“My fondest memories came during the Super Bowl or the White House because my mom was just out of control,” she said. “I don’t even know how to explain it.”
‘It’s like it’s detached and we can’t find it. She was such a piece of work and such a character and such a colorful person that every time we did something like the White House, you’d think she was the President of the freaking United States of America.
“She was out of control and I couldn’t control her. And I would laugh at her and let her go and step back and watch her and take pleasure in her because she literally looked like she just won the lottery and there’s nothing I can do to stop her.