The producer of Bye Simon-Olivier Fecteau is a genius. He certainly doesn't need our advice.
But in all humility, here are some sketches I would like to see at Bye bye 2023.
Yay! Create an OnlyFans account
After the $195 hugs, Youppi! started to have more pocket money. So he decided to create an OnlyFans account. For $10 a month, you can access saucy and nearly naked photos of the orange mascot (that's a joke, Youppi! hasn't opened an OnlyFans account. Rather, the photos come from the Montreal Canadiens' Instagram account, which posted them them in February 2023 for Valentine's Day, editor's note).
The Coyotes turn to Cosom hockey
After (deep breath here) their arena project failed, after the team moved to a junior hockey arena, after they were kicked out of Glendale for not paying their taxes, after several other teams used it as a contract graveyard, that they…was under trust that in a few years it had seven owners… The Coyotes announce that they will now play Hockey Cosom, which will result in a reduction in the cost of air conditioning in the arena.
Called on to respond, Gary Bettman insists and signs that the team will remain in the NHL, even if it will play without skates
“The Coyotes will stay in Arizona,” he said. He believes this market is important and the NHL is a winner by showcasing hockey in sneakers.
Still, Bettman puts pressure on the Coyotes: “If the team can't attract a few dozen spectators, Quebec has an amphitheater and is ready to welcome a club.”
Photo: Jacques Pharand
We help CF Montreal hire its employees
A year ago, CF Montreal decided to hire Hernan Losada as head coach. Losada had just left DC United in turmoil. He had a fairly strict style, even monitoring his players' diets and could fine those who gained a few pounds, the Toronto Star reported.
At the start of 2023, CF Montreal also hired a man to lead its reserve team who believed the Metropolis attack shooter had made the mistake of missing his target, Pauline Marois.
Both are no longer there. So Mike Babcock could take over while Babcock is out of work after asking Blue Jackets players to show him photos on their cell phones from their summer vacations.
And while we're on the subject of hasty hires, another candidate could be Luis Rubiales, former head of Spanish football. He is also unemployed after being banned by FIFA for kissing a player on the mouth on a podium.
Archive photo, AFP
The statue of Anze Kopitar in front of the Videotron Center
After the Statsny brothers Guy Lafleur, Jean Béliveau and Joe Malone, a new statue will be erected on the magnificent memorial avenue of hockey legends in front of the Videotron Center: that of Anze Kopitar of the Los Angeles Kings.
Finance Minister Eric Girard actually announced a $7 million grant for the construction of the Kopitar statue, which will forever mark the history of hockey in Quebec with its two exhibition games.
When asked to comment, the minister was moved to tears: “It is a responsible center in both zones, which I have always liked.” He is currently at least one of my 50 favorite players in the NHL.”
Eric Girard, bombarded by journalists who did not understand the relevance of such a statue, also stated that Kopitar was of Slovenian origin and that the Pee-Wee tournament in Quebec sometimes featured a team from Slovenia.
So, in his opinion, it was an “obvious” decision.
AFP
The person who judged the value of the Bell Center invited it The price is correct
In 2013, the Bell Center's municipal valuation was $256 million. In 2024 it will be $150 million. When it comes to taxes, the bill has fallen by half, La Presse revealed.
I don't know if the same thing happened with your house, but if so, buy a 6/49.
The city of Montreal said the assessment was conducted “in complete independence using an objective methodology.”
We therefore decided to invite the appraiser who determined the value of the Bell Center in 2024 to the popular program “The Price is Right”, where he did particularly poorly.
ARCHIVE PHOTO
Sport bought by Saudi Arabia
Looking for new business opportunities, Saudi Arabia announced that it had purchased the sport.
Instead of establishing itself left and right through various sports, Saudi Arabia's Public Investment Fund has reached a confidential agreement with the International Olympic Committee that allows Prince Mohammed bin Salman to become president of all international sports federations.
This decision was not made due to controversy as all sports leaders accepted Prince bin Salman's offer.
Curiously, none of them were available for public comment as they were already retired.
Those who expressed doubts could neither be reached nor found.
Only one sports league managed to impose a condition on this sale to Saudi Arabia, namely the NHL, which required the Coyotes to remain in Arizona.
Note that the Olympic motto “Faster, Higher, Stronger, Together” was changed to delete the word “together”, while Saudi Arabia indicated it was not prepared to go so far as to include the first three words of the Olympics However, mottos are sufficient for the prince.
AFP
Eugenie Bouchard is bringing a new sport onto the market
After pickleball, Eugenie Bouchard decided to pursue another sport and she is currently quietly wrapping up her tennis career.
This time he chose Kin-Ball, also a Quebec sport!
It's a godsend for the president of the Kin Ball Association, who has been trying for years to revive the sport that was popular 30 years ago.
In her first game at Polyvalente Sainte-Thérèse in Brampton, Eugenie, playing on the gray team, drew more than 5,000 spectators, 400 more than the Coyotes in Arizona.
This is also an increase of 4982 viewers compared to the Kin Ball competition average.
Eugenie Bouchard Instagram account