One woman admitted she had spent almost a decade trying to hide her face after ‘daily picking sessions’ of up to six hours left her looking as if she had permanent chickenpox.
Aubrey Wagner, from Columbia, South Carolina, said she first started picking her skin when she was 13, but it soon evolved into an “unhealthy coping mechanism” to help ease tension and anxiety.
the 24-year-old woman said her habit intensified during stressful periods to the point that she would find himself in a ‘trance’ in the mirror, slapping her face, leaving her with so many bloody scaops that it looked like she had chickenpox.
The assistant manager of the boutique was diagnosed with dermatillomania, a disease in which you can’t stop chopping your skin, at 18 years old, and withdraws from social situations to hide the “open wounds” on your face.
Aubrey Wagner was left with skin that appeared to have ‘constant chickenpox’ after picking her skin for up to six hours a day
Aubrey was often left terrified of the damage she had done while unwittingly drinking for hours
The picking stretched to the back, arms, face, legs and feet, and Aubrey often felt unable to stop
After reducing her stress after graduating from university, Aubrey’s skin irritation largely decreased
But last May, Aubrey “little by little” began to overcome the condition and her skin is now more or less healed – the progress she is “very proud of” and this has caused her self-esteem to rise to heaven.
Photos and footage taken by Aubrey reveal the red wounds that covered her face, back and legs, along with more recent ones from her smiling makeup and no stains with confidence.
Aubrey said: ‘The longest time I’d gone was probably six hours before I got away from it and realised what I was doing.
‘I found I was sitting on my counter and it made time go even faster because I didn’t realise how long I was standing.
The longest a graduate can remember choosing as her face is the incredible total of six hours
Aubrey’s skin peeling began during puberty, but became much more serious during high school when stress levels increased
Aubrey will feel as if a ‘monster’ is choking her body during a trance-like episode of continuous picking
WHAT IS DERMATILLOMANIA?
Dermatillomania – or compulsive tearing of the skin – is a violation of impulse control, characterized by an uncontrollable desire to skin.
Some sufferers have the disease so severe that they irritate their skin until it is damaged.
Sufferers usually start by chopping their face before moving on to other parts of the body.
The condition is often categorized as obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
This can lead to bleeding, bruising and infections.
CSP is often performed after the individual has experienced a high level of tension, which has caused a desire to perform the behavior.
Pulling the skin is often accompanied by a feeling of relief or even pleasure due to the decrease in anxiety levels.
However, once the harm is done, those affected often remain with a feeling of depression or hopelessness.
Although the damage caused can be very serious, experienced satisfaction can cause the individual to perform CSP over and over again.
Treatment usually involves counseling and cognitive-behavioral therapy.
Източник: Anxiety UK
‘My roommate finally had to use the bathroom after he was gone almost all day and I was so traumatised to even get out of the bathroom because I knew what I’d just done after I’d come out of that almost trance so he could talk. It was really scary.
‘I had an out-of-body experience when I stepped away from the mirror because I knew what I was doing at the time, but I didn’t realise how bad it was and it almost felt like a monster was doing this to me, it was the best way to describe it.
‘It’s so unconscious that once you step away from the mirror and see yourself, everything really hits and it’s like a drop in your stomach.
‘It’s really hard to watch after you’ve done something like that, because the first thing you want to do is go and hide, and that’s what I would do.’
Aubrey said she first started “slightly” irritating acne on her skin every day as she went through puberty, but her habit deteriorated as her life became more stressful in high school.
When she started college, she would choose almost every day – only occasionally had a day off to give her skin a break if she had done so “intensely” the day before.
Aubrey said: “Often for me it was when I found myself with the most school work, stress or something. I’d go into the bathroom, take a shower, whatever I had to do.
“Then I found myself in the mirror with just a little bump and I was going to say “this has to be cracked, it’s going to care,” and then I found something else on my face because I was looking so closely .
“It just never stopped. I just felt like there was always room on my face or back that needed extra TLC, you might say. I had to choose it to make it better, that’s how I always thought it was.
When she started college, she would choose almost every day – only occasionally she had a day off to give her skin a rest if she had done it so “intensely” the previous day
In her mind was the feeling that there was always room on her face or back that needed “extra TLC” and attention
Going into the shower often triggers an episode of picking, as looking at herself in the mirror will make her scan her body for places to choose
“But after a few hours or a little pick-up time, you step away from the mirror and look at each other and I’d really feel frustrated with what I’ve just done, and I’ll experience a rush of “what have I just done?””
“Every time I pick, I often find myself bleeding with red wounds. They were going to form with scappies over the next few days, but these were open wounds that I was going to create. It almost looked like I had chickenpox, some might say.
‘Often, after picking my skin, if I was going to do school work or try to do something I was anxious about, I’d find that I was just chopping the scaops, which only makes it worse.
The alum started creating videos on TikTok to spread useful information about dermatillomany
Pictured recently after her skin irritation largely subsided, Aubrey took her condition day by day
Pictured now Aubrey has managed to cope with her exhausting condition but admits she hasn’t completely disappeared
To hold himself responsible for the election, Aubrey created a TikTok account where he soon found others with the same condition. Pictured now
“It was something I like to call “pointless picking” – when you’re not doing it intentionally, as I did when I was sitting in the mirror.”
the 24-year-old man most often chose her face and back because they were easiest to reach, but also on her hands and even on her feet – and she still copes with the scars that are left.
Aubrey was finally diagnosed with dermatillomania while in college.
She said it was a relief as it made her realise that her habit was not something that could stop right away, but something that would be a process to do so.
Aubrey no longer wants to hide her face and felt a huge rush of confidence in her appearance
Feeling “ashamed” and unsure of her appearance, Aubrey would hide away from friends and strangers
Aubrey said: ‘I’ll find myself a lot more at home [pre-covid] because I didn’t feel confident showing my face.
‘I was able to cover it with make-up very well and so every morning, whether I was just staying at home, I was wearing a face full of make-up just because I was afraid to show other people.
“I didn’t want to meet new people to see my face or say “why does she wear so much makeup?” because of all the texture I would have.
“I wasn’t just ashamed. I didn’t feel pretty. I knew i was going to have to have a conversation about it, and I just didn’t want to lead it.
‘When I released my first videos on TikTok, I was really doing it to hold myself accountable because I thought it was a way for some people to see it and hopefully see my progress so I feel like I owe something to these people to make that progress.
‘It was so surprising when it gained popularity among people dealing with exactly the same thing and it was nice to know that, frankly, I didn’t feel alone because for ten years I thought I was.’
Aubrey said the biggest reason she largely gave up her skin-picking habit was to reduce stress levels after graduating from college.
She regularly shares informative videos on TikTok about dermatillomania, of which she has received a lot of support and has amassed more than 831,000 likes and followers.
Aubrey was afraid to meet new people before her condition improved as questions would arise about her condition
След като намери онлайн общност, Обри се почувства по-малко сама в ежедневните си борби с дерматиломания
Дори когато Обри носеше грим, тя откри, че текстурата на кожата й е трудно да скрие състоянието си
As Aubrey’s skin cleared, she began to accept that her condition may never be fully resolved and instead she celebrated the small stages
Aubrey said: ‘A lot of people now see my skin and ask me ‘how did you stop?’ and the craziest thing is that I’ve never stopped completely and I haven’t yet.
‘I think that’s because the goal of so many people with dermatillomania is to stop picking and that’s been my goal for a very long time.
“But I realized that this does not necessarily work for me. What I did slowly backed away, bit by bit, and celebrated when I made progress.
‘With my mental health, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop and frankly, I think that’s good.
‘I’m very proud of the progress I’ve made and the scars on my skin don’t really bother me compared to what I was doing.
‘I don’t feel like hiding my face anymore, which was crazy because I was so used to doing this on social media. The confidence I have is much higher.
. Source