Eighteen years ago, as my husband lay slumped and jaundiced in a hospital bed, I was encouraged to be strong.
That gave me comfort.
There is comfort in hope.
My strong Sacha, known to the world as Alexander Litvinenko – the unyielding thorn in Vladimir Putin's side – will live, I assured myself.
This can't be the end, I thought.
But of course no one could survive the high dose of radioactive polonium that a Kremlin assassination squad had sprinkled into Sacha's tea.
And as my 12-year-old son and I watched helplessly as his life slipped away, no words could ease our grief.
Our family had already been torn apart. Living in London, we were cut off from our loved ones in Russia. My son would never see his grandparents.
Now our lives were truly destroyed. My son was never able to hug his father again. I would never kiss my husband again.
Compassion could only do so much.
That's why I hesitate to deliver any weak message of support to Yulia Navalnaya and the two children of pro-democracy dissident Alexei Navalny – except this: Say his name. Save his memory. And his death will not be in vain.
But only time will tell when Russians will be free of Putin.
My strong Sacha, known to the world as Alexander Litvinenko – the unyielding thorn in Vladimir Putin's side – will live, I assured myself. (Above) Alexander Litvinenko in the intensive care unit at University College Hospital on November 20, 2006 in London
As my 12-year-old son and I watched helplessly as his life slipped away, no words could ease our grief. (Above) Marina Litvinenko, Alexander Litvinenko's wife
My husband, a Kremlin agent turned fierce dissident, and Alexei, a lawyer turned anti-corruption advocate and political prisoner, died under different circumstances – but their lives ran parallel.
Both were poisoned by Putin's henchmen; Sacha in a London hotel bar and Alexei by a military nerve agent.
Both fought until the end; Sacha remained in a hospital bed for weeks and Alexei survived for four years, spending his final days in a high-security penal colony in Siberia.
Both die as heroes for exposing Russia's madman.
Alexei was forced to spend more than 300 days in solitary confinement, which Putin reportedly observed with sadistic pleasure – demanding to read reports and even watch live footage of his thugs torturing and humiliating their prisoner.
If true, this is even stronger evidence that Russia is ruled by a monster – a sick psychopath who controls a nuclear arsenal. Because which person takes on human suffering and feels strengthened by it?
It is excruciating to watch as the useful idiots of the world continue to encourage this murderous tyrant while men like Alexei and Sacha sacrifice their lives to bring him to justice.
On Friday, Tucker Carlson, a prominent journalist who speaks to large audiences, lamented Alexei's death as “barbaric and terrible” and something “no decent human being would defend.”
But those strong condemnations were nowhere to be found in his interview with Putin just last week — when Carlson allowed the invader to spread lies in Ukraine about the war he alone had started.
“This regime and Vladimir Putin must take personal responsibility for all the terrible things they have done to my country, our country, Russia,” Yulia Navalnaya (above) said on Friday.
I hesitate to deliver any weak message of support to Yulia Navalnaya and the two children of pro-democracy dissident Alexei Navalny – except this: Say his name. Save his memory. And his death will not be in vain. (Above) Alexei Navalny with his wife Julia (right), his daughter Daria and his son Zakhar on September 8, 2019
Alexei survived for four years, spending his last days in a high-security penal colony in Siberia.
And where was Carlson's newfound moral clarity when he posted videos from a Moscow subway and a grocery store this week glorifying Putin's Russia and comparing it negatively to America?
I couldn't believe it when Carlson was shopping for eggs, bread and wine and noticed that a lavish shopping basket in Moscow cost only $100.
“We just put in the cart what we would actually eat in a week,” Carlson said. 'We all [guessed] around 400 dollars. Here it was $104.”
This is only a thin slice of reality.
No average Russian family spends $100 a day. Only a rich American could enjoy such luxury.
If Carlson really wanted to tell the story of the Russian people, he would travel outside Moscow – to see those living without gas, electricity and indoor plumbing.
If Carlson really wanted to tell the truth, he would have admitted that hardly anyone in my country has any savings, while many others are deeply in debt.
And of course, if Carlson had been truly horrified by the murder of political dissidents, he would have acknowledged that not a single Russian citizen, regardless of wealth, is free.
In his interview with Putin last week – when Carlson allowed the invader to spread lies in Ukraine about the war he alone had started – there were no strong condemnations to be found.
Where was Carlson's newfound moral clarity when he posted videos from a Moscow subway and a grocery store (above) this week glorifying Putin's Russia and comparing it negatively to America?
Is a shopping basket more important than basic human rights?
What a humiliation for my people.
Like American journalist Walter Duranty, who won a Pulitzer Prize in the 1930s for his coverage of Joseph Stalin's government, Carlson misses the obvious.
Duranty praised Stalin for ushering in a so-called Soviet golden age, but ignored the millions of people who died, starved, were forced into cannibalism and held in prison.
In a stunning admission last week, Carlson was asked to justify his failure to bring up Alexei's plight during his sycophantic Putin interview, and he simply explained the state-sponsored murder as a cost of “leadership.”
No, Carlson.
It is not.
Putin's perspective must never be legitimized.
His authoritarian kleptocracy should never be celebrated.
If Carlson had been truly horrified by the murder of political dissidents, he would have acknowledged that not a single Russian citizen, regardless of wealth, is free. (Top) Police arrest a man during a protest against the imprisonment of opposition leader Alexei Navalny in the Siberian city of Omsk, Russia, on January 31, 2021
In a stunning admission last week, Carlson was asked to justify his failure to bring up Alexei's plight during his sycophantic Putin interview, and he simply explained the state-sponsored murder as a cost of “leadership.”
Today, even though Russia is weakened by Putin's failed war in Ukraine, the regime's repression is worse than ever.
The families of political activists were once safe from retaliation. No longer. Today, even the relatives of those who refuse to be conscripted into the Ukrainian meat grinder are made to pay.
The only consolation that Yulia Navalnaya, I, or millions of Russians can take from Alexei's death is that it could strengthen the West's resolve to continue the fight.
It will not be enough for America to express compassion and move on. That's the moment.
A Ukrainian victory would be a deafening blow to a regime whose lifeblood is violence and intimidation.
“This regime and Vladimir Putin must bear personal responsibility for all the terrible things they have done to my country, our country Russia,” Yulia Navalnaya said on Friday.
I pray she's right.
Alexei is dead and Putin remains.
But hope is a comfort.