Behind the door Sarah wants five guys at the

Behind the door | Polyamorous against her will | –

Every week, La Presse brings you a testimonial designed to illustrate what really happens behind the bedroom door, in privacy, far from statistics and standards. Today: Béatrice*, mid-thirties

Published at 1:10 am. Updated at 1:00 p.m.


Suggest a couple exchange and then develop mutual feelings? On both sides, what more is there? Too crazy to be true? In any case, it happened to Béatrice. Here is his story.

“What are the chances?” » That's the question that comes to mind most often during this hour and a half of confidences, an unprecedented expression of thanks, gathered in a crowded cafe in the northern suburbs just before the holidays.

You should know that our interlocutor, a smiling thirty-year-old, has been with her lover for 20 years. “He’s my first serious boyfriend! » Before their story leads to this special relationship, it's not exactly linear, but frankly jagged.

That's because as teenagers they discovered everything together, together, begins Béatrice. It was she who “dragged” her lover. “I've always been interested in sexuality, but no one talked to me about it. So I figured it out myself! »

Béatrice also has a stronger libido than her boyfriend. “I need it several times a week. But he can go a week without it! » Aside from that drawback, she adds, “Everything is fine.”

I knew I wanted this guy to be the father of my children. We are lovers, best friends, he is very close to my family.


But Béatrice quickly asks herself: “Am I really going to spend my life with just one person?” »

Over the years, the couple experiences their first challenges. Béatrice is more hardworking, her lover parties a lot, but they still manage to choose each other to “evolve” in the same direction.

New challenge: the arrival of children in their early twenties. “It was more difficult there,” admits Béatrice. My boyfriend is not very demonstrative, taking care of me is less his style. We walked away quietly. »

Not the half: She moves so far away that she falls into the arms of a colleague. The adventure lasts a few months, at the end she confides in her boyfriend and they find themselves at a crossroads. “Our relationship isn’t working,” she told him.

They separate for a few months, the Lord goes elsewhere, but strangely this separation brings them closer together. “It seems that not living together has helped us gain perspective,” says Béatrice, smiling. Relatively, but also sexually. Even in bed (because yes, they end up in bed!) they try to “win” each other back. And it works: “We really played there. » Twist: After six months they moved back together. “It really helped me experience something different. […] I think I needed that. »

However, this return is not easy. Béatrice's questions quickly resurface: “Will I spend my life like this?” We are best friends, but do I love him like a lover? » Therapy and a few years of self-work later, in her early thirties, she decided to put an end to her procrastination. “I have to make a choice,” she told herself, “if I choose it, I choose it.” »

But in the meantime the gentleman gets closer to another woman. Are you following? Here we as a couple are faced with another challenge. “I got the ball rolling,” analyzes Béatrice. That's why it's hard for me to be angry. […] “Okay, they’re bags, but we’ll talk about it,” she suggests. That’s her “personality,” she says, with a focus on communication.

And then, above all, Béatrice is not prepared to lose her lover. “He is the father of my children […]a very good life partner […], He is a good man. I can't let him go. »

New twist: The Lord has chosen her again. “Enough of this stupidity,” they decide together. The end of the story ? More like the beginning of a new chapter.

You can't make this up: then the pandemic comes and the lockdown, frankly, benefits them. As I said, the gentleman is a party person, but now the party is on hold. They have no choice but to spend time together. “And sexually it was really good. We took the time to rediscover each other, we enjoyed being together! »

It is precisely after this “rediscovery” that our reconciled lovers meet a particular couple through their children. Here we are. The four of them see each other regularly, somewhat out of necessity, first for family activities, then for dinner, then even in the evening.

We knew they were open…


What does she think? Not much. Until she learns from the tape that they have her in their sights.

Are you still following? Béatrice, who is initially not enthusiastic about the idea, begins to think about it quietly. “And then it crosses my mind…” The idea goes far, she discusses it with her friend, and in the end they agree on a clearly defined proposal: “We all exchange our own sides, we don't do that, not .” that the four together do not tempt us. […] And then we want it to be exclusive, she says. We wanted a certain ethic […], we otherwise saw it as complicated. »

It's been less than a year. The proposal is presented during a drunken dinner. To break the ice, the two couples dare to have a first kiss. The first connection is conclusive, as you may have already guessed. “It even scared me a little. I saw further. How far could it go…” It seems too fluid to be true, but after a first night, each to their own, it's worth remembering, it's confirmed, the chemistry is right.

“It’s like we’ve always done this,” Béatrice marvels. Clearly it clicks, not just physically (apparently reflecting crossed libidos) but emotionally too. It's her boyfriend who develops feelings first. Béatrice reacts philosophically: “OK, it can happen, it's a risk.” » They discuss it, and now she develops it one by one. And vice versa or every man for himself. “What are the chances?” Really! »

It's been several months and our two couples have been quietly dealing with this very special dynamic between the four of them, tentatively and always relying on open communication, emphasizes Béatrice. They said a shy word to the children, met for family dinner, then in the evening, discreetly and each to themselves, in complete privacy, once or twice a week.

Béatrice is in heaven. “It allows me to explore a side of myself that I had put aside,” she says, smiling. Renovation ! » Nevertheless, she also asks herself a lot of questions. “We don’t want kids to go through anything strange,” she said. We are good together, good as a couple, how can we combine both? […] I don't know how well it can work in the long run…”

We will see. “There are certainly risks,” she said. But for now I'm happy with what I'm experiencing. […] We just have one life. However, everything has risks! »

* Fictitious first name to maintain anonymity